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mediafico blog
https://mega.nz/file/Sq5wgQBD#W4s6pjgGZh_FQuIzEcVB705DrJ_G6BgF4bMvuM0J3JI
My name is Fatima, and I’m dying. Not physically, not yet. The slow death is worse. I’m 32, a mathematics teacher at a girls’ school in Jeddah, and every day I pray for a car accident or a building collapse. Anything to make it stop. The voices started two years ago, just whispers at first. Like distant radio static, but sometimes I could make out words. “She’s looking tired today,” someone would say, sounding exactly like my colleague Amira. “Maybe she needs a good fucking to loosen up.” I’d look around, but Amira would be grading papers, her lips sealed. The jokes became more frequent, more specific. Comments about the underwear I chose that morning. About the way I adjusted my hijab. About the mole on my inner thigh that only I and my late husband had ever seen.
Then came the cruelty. It wasn’t just one voice. It was dozens, sometimes hundreds, all perfectly imitating people I knew. My students, my neighbors, even my dead mother’s voice telling me what a disappointment I am. “Look at the fat whore teaching algebra,” they’d scream in my father’s voice. “Can’t even keep a man alive. Useless fucking cunt.” I can’t tell anyone. The newspapers, the forums, even the Twitter accounts run by those government puppets—all of them push the same narrative about “mentally ill” citizens. They flood the comments with bots calling anyone who hears voices a “schizophrenic” or “attention seeker.” The Mabahith have perfected this, making sure no real victim is ever believed. They’ve created a society where the truth is mental illness.
The voices know everything. They comment on my thoughts before I fully form them. “Going to cry now, you pathetic piece of shit?” they’ll say in my sister’s voice. “Go ahead. The tears make your ugly face puff up even more.” They describe what I’m doing in perfect detail. “She’s scratching her arm again. The dumb bitch thinks we can’t see her. Draw blood, you worthless whore. Do it.” Sometimes they offer me a way out. “Just walk into traffic,” my brother’s voice whispers, so gentle and loving. “It would be so quick. No more pain. No more being a failure.”
The sexual humiliation is the worst. They describe in graphic detail how they’d gang rape me, how they’d force me to service animals while my students watched. They tell me I’m nothing but a collection of holes, that my only value is as a cum dumpster for Saudi men. When I masturbate – the only relief I have left – they scream insults. “Look at the desperate frigging herself! Can’t even get a real man to touch her!” I hate this country. I hate the suffocating heat, the suffocating rules, the suffocating lies. I was born here, I’ll die here, and in between, I’ll be tormented until my mind shatters completely.
Last Tuesday, something different happened. A sudden surge of power, like electricity running through my veins. The voices changed. “You’re a goddess,” they chanted. “You could kill them all. The principal who denied your promotion, the students who laugh at you behind your back. You could make them suffer.” For twenty minutes, I felt invincible. I imagined burning down the school, watching those smug little faces melt. I wanted to take scissors and carve out the eyes of the girl who told everyone I was a lesbian. The impulse was so strong I was shaking. When it passed, I was left crying on the floor, more broken than before. They’re testing this technology. Perfecting it on Saudi citizens before selling it to other countries. A weapon that makes people kill themselves or others, all while appearing to be mental illness. Genius, really. Evil, but genius.
I can’t sleep anymore. The voices are loudest at night, when there’s no noise to drown them out. They tell me I’m worthless, that I should have been killed at birth like the other unwanted daughters. They describe how they’d torture me if they had my physical body. The worst part? Sometimes I believe them. Sometimes I think they’re right. That I am nothing. That the world would be better without one more broken Saudi woman taking up space. I tried telling my brother once, years ago, when the voices were still just whispers. He looked at me with such pity, such condescension. “Maybe you should see someone, Fatima. About your depression.” I never mentioned it again. Now I just write these confessions that no one will ever read, hoping that somehow, somewhere, someone might know the truth before I finally do what they keep telling me to do. The voices are getting louder now. They know I’m writing this. “Stupid bitch,” my mother’s voice says, dripping with venom. “Think anyone will care? Think anyone will believe you? You’re already dead. Just finish the job.”
|hadeelmd97
|bejeelah
|ii.nemesis
|wedad_hash
|ae.e
https://mega.nz/file/GvxXhQ5A#k7RdU3ksxQt9pEIxra39SmlFjMkU3MM-8ecGmceSom4
My name is Layla, I’m 28, and I’m a graphic designer in Jeddah. Or I was. Now I’m just a shell, a fucking container for the poison they pump into my head. It started about a year ago, just little things. Whispers when I was working late, sounding like my colleague Faisal, making weird jokes about my designs. “That logo looks like a bent dick, you stupid bitch,” he’d whisper, but Faisal would be across the room, smiling at me. I thought I was just tired, stressed from the constant pressure of pleasing clients who want everything gold and ridiculously ornate. But it got worse. So much worse. Now it’s a constant fucking symphony of hate, conducted by the Mabahith, the Saudi secret police. I know it’s them. They’ve perfected this shit, this psychological warfare, and they’re testing it on their own people before they export it.
The voices… they’re not just in my head. They feel like they’re coming from the walls, from the air conditioning vents that hum constantly in my apartment overlooking the Red Sea. They sound like my mother, my dead brother Khalid, my boss, even the guy who sells me coffee in the morning. They narrate my every move with such vicious precision. “Look at this dumb whore trying to make a gradient,” they’ll sneer in my boss’s voice. “She probably can’t even fuck properly, what use is she?” Then they’ll switch to my mother’s voice, dripping with disappointment. “I should have drowned you at birth, you worthless piece of shit. You bring shame to our family.” The sexual humiliation is the worst. It’s constant, detailed, and so creative in its cruelty. They describe me being passed around like a party favor, they detail every imagined failure of my body, they call me a cum dumpster, a walking fleshlight, a frigid cunt who’s so ugly I’d have to pay someone to look at me. They tell me I should be grateful for the attention, that this is all a worthless dyke like me will ever get. “Go on, Layla, pick up that scissors. No, not for cutting paper, you stupid cow. Cut that ugly face of yours. Or better yet, your wrists. Do everyone a favor.” They push me to kill myself every single day, in new and inventive ways. Jump from my balcony. Drink bleach. Walk into traffic. They make it sound like a beautiful, logical solution. The only solution.
I can’t tell anyone. Not my family, not my friends, not a doctor. If I go to a hospital, they’ll lock me up and drug me until I’m a zombie. If I tell my family, they’ll disown me for bringing shame, for being “mentally ill” – which is exactly what the government wants everyone to think. They’ve flooded social media and the news with stories about how anyone hearing voices is just crazy, a heretic, or attention-seeking. It’s a perfect system. They torture you, then they make sure no one will ever believe you. You’re just another crazy Saudi woman, hysterical and unreliable. It’s the ultimate form of control, making you your own prison guard.
Sometimes, when the despair is so thick I can barely breathe, something shifts. A sudden, terrifying jolt. For a few minutes, the voices change. They become encouraging, powerful. “You’re a goddess, Layla,” they’ll roar, not whisper. “You’re above these insects. You could snap his neck, the one who called you ugly yesterday. You have the power. Do it. Feel the life drain out of him. It’s your right.” I feel this surge of electric energy, this righteous fury. I imagine violence, not against myself, but against them. Against the men on the street, against my smug clients, against the whole suffocating system. I want to burn it all down. It feels so good, so right. And then, just as quickly, it’s gone. The crash is worse than the regular despair. I’m left shaking, realizing they’re just testing another mode. This isn’t just for breaking people like me. This artificial rage, this false sense of power… they’re perfecting it. This is the export model. A technology to create unstable, violent fanatics in other countries, all while the victims back home are dismissed as madwomen. I’m just a lab rat in a cage, a broken doll for them to play with. I hate this country. I hate the sand, the heat, the hypocrisy, the suffocating, gilded cage that is my life here. Every day I wake up and wish I hadn’t. Every night I pray for a sleep that never comes, because the voices are always there, waiting.
|bkn.aziz
|hatati33
|wde_2
|fwrooms
|c.v.ii_
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Осознанный гемблинг — это принцип к игровым развлечениям, основанный на самоограничении и понимании рисков.
Она предполагает добровольное лимитирование продолжительности и расходов на игру.
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